Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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