Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize