I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
