and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize