he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
