My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
