guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
