They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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