I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
