Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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(404): View more from Georgia

Are you still at the party or did I leave?

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(514): View more from Quebec

His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

(410): View more from Maryland

engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

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(708): View more from Illinois

This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(478): View more from Georgia

You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.

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(516): View more from New York

It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair

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