i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
