Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
