Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize