I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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