I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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