haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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