YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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