Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
