Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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