i permit you to call me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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