cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
