May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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