Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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