Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
