It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
