I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
