Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
