CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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