Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize