not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize