Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
