they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
