I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
