Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
