She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
