Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
