I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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