come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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