I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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