I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
