My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
