Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
