I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
