I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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