Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
