yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
