Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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