On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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