make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
