You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
