no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
