I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
