He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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