I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
me + whiskey = a bad person
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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