I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
