I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
