The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize