She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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