# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
